I'm not 

I'm not going to fall in love with you,
you, with your calm tread,
stepping into my life.

I see your calm eyes
and know how good you are:
your tenderness comforting
my loneliness.

And I haven't kept anything hidden from you:
my happiness, my anger, my suffering, my lust
and how your care made me
blossom in silence.

But I'm not going to love you with a
burning heart and brain.
I don't want to fall in love with you
because I want to be happy.
 

double image

excruciatingly slow you disappear
walking away backwards, looking at me
I try to smile
but I see you fading
transforming into your shadow
into a caricature of yourself

I placed mirrors at 
an angle in the sea
and waited for the sun
I ripped colors from the white
but you already turned too light
even your hazel eyes
turned grey

now I hang from your feet
I don't want you to grow wings
to - together with the doves and the wind
leave behind your reflection

It turned out that he really didn't know her

It turned out that he really didn't know her 
at all. He suddenly didn't know 
if he stayed here before, in this grand hotel
of murdered innocence.

Could he keep up with her, she the absentee,
with priorities from the absurd.
He imagined himself in Atlantis, deaf and blind-
where silence covers the emptiness and black glistens white
where there's nothing to do but letting yourself float
until it comes 
until the going begins.

In the same way he wouldn't know what to do 
with his own life
if he wasn't assured 
of her presence as a ghost.