And then 

And then 
the cutest guy of the evening lies next to you
No camera can take a picture of what you see now.
So totally close he is, with you.
And then you think about people running into the sea, about how animals play with each other, a young kitten loosing itself in the buttons of your couch,
a sparrow that you hold in your hand. In shock. 
Never seen a sparrow from so close.

If only I don't have to go in there, into those eyes.
as long as that creature doesn't start to look at me, doesn't sit 
on my newspaper, because then you have to pet it, with consciously 
guided hands, while you think:
I want to read on and I will never become a good mother.

Then after a while 
you have to push the creature off your newspaper
and for minutes you are not able to read, out of guilt
and sadness, because you won't become a mother.

The best way I've been to the sea,
was by just lying next to it. You don't have to ask 
something like that to a sea.
But how do you do that with the cutest guy of the evening?